


Found Fam-ILY

by MadasaMoriarty



Series: Found Fam-ILY 'Verse [1]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders - Freeform, Bad Puns, Child Abuse, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders - Freeform, Deceit Sanders - Freeform, Foster Care, Gen, I Love Thomas Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders - Freeform, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders - Freeform, My First Work in This Fandom, Out of Character, Patton POV, Probably ooc, but not really, human sides
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-04 11:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14019585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadasaMoriarty/pseuds/MadasaMoriarty
Summary: Patton lived his life for his brother. With Thomas gone Patton does his best to live it for his friends. And maybe that weird emo kid.





	1. Uncle

**Author's Note:**

> I love Thomas Sanders and the Sander Sides videos! And I am so in awe of anyone who can write for this fandom and keep the characters so true to themselves. 
> 
> I have decided to try my hand at it as well... but I suck at puns...and I'm not that smart... and when it comes to modern 'lingo' I'm probably on Logan's level or lower...and my snark needs work... so all the Sides are probably going to come across as pale imitations of themselves but I did my best and I hope you enjoy!

Thomas is crying again. Patton hates to see Thomas cry. Hates knowing that there is so little he can do about it really. But he pastes on a big smile anyway, because Thomas is sad and Patton can’t do much about that, but he can try. His whole body hurts but he moves to his brother’s bed anyway. Leaving his blankets in a tangle behind him he moves gingerly to snuggle in beside the sniffling boy. Can’t cry to loud. Don’t want Uncle hearing. Thomas turns into him, pressing against his bruises and holding him close. Patton doesn’t mind, he holds Thomas closer. 

“Hey, Thomas- what’s  black and red and blue all over?” 

“You!” Patton laughs as Thomas wails a little louder, and it’s not even forced. He loves his little brother. 

“No! I was going to say ‘superman’.” He strikes as heroic a pose as he can while laying on a bed. 

“Superman’s not black and red.” 

“He sure is! Look.” Trying not to wince he gets up and scours the room until he’s found a paper and some crayons, bringing them with him back to Thomas’ bed. “See, you’ve got his costume, which is blue. The hair for black.” He draws as he speaks scribbling the colors in quickly. “And the diamond-y thing is red. Ta-da!” Thomas peers at the picture and Patton is glad to see that his tears have quieted some. “Hey,” He does a better superman pose. “Can you see the resemblance?” 

His brother giggles into his hands and the sound is everything Patton wanted. He wishes he could hear it more often. 

“Patton! You’re not superman!” 

“I’m not?” He sags, over exaggerated and comical, quirking up his face so that Thomas will smile wider. 

“No! You don’t even have a cape!” 

“Wha-? No cape?” His hands scrabble around at his neck like he’s checking and he scowls. “Well that won’t do.” He casts about quickly, plucking an old cardigan from the top of his laundry pile. It isn’t red but he’s not sure he owns one that’s red. His body complains as he ties it around his throat, but he pushes through it. This is for Thomas. Not him. “How’s that?” 

Thomas giggles louder and his eyes twinkle with mischief. 

“Bad.” 

“What!” With more mock scowling he dives at Thomas’ bed, burrowing under the covers and attacking his brother’s sides in an epic tickle fight. Thomas’ laughter is loud and child like. For one moment things are good. Than there is a heavy banging against the wall and their Uncle’s voice roars from the other side. Patton can’t understand what he’s saying but he knows it's not good. The laughter dies quickly, both of them frozen for a moment. But there is no further roaring, no stomping steps. Patton lets the chill of fear tingling up his spine mellow into his usual vigilance. He glances down and Thomas’ eyes are wide and afraid. Patton hates his Uncle. “Time for bed kiddo.” 

The tears have returned and a tiny head is shoved against his chest. Patton strokes Thomas’ hair like their mother used to do, hoping that it’s comforting and not just a painful reminder. There father had called them ‘kiddos’ and Patton had never meant to take up the habit. Had thought that the word would bring too many sad things bubbling near the surface. But Thomas liked it. Liked to remember. Liked the memories. And Patton liked to think that his parents would be proud of him. He hoped they would. 

“Patton.” 

“Yeah Thomas?” Tiny hands squeezed into him and Patton didn’t let the pain distract him from the love inherent in the gesture. 

“I was just kidding.” Brown eyes blinked up at him, wet and trusting. “You’re a lot like Superman.” 

 

Patton was making dinner. Nothing fancy. Just canned soup and bread. He’d make Uncle a steak or something later. Thomas was in the other room watching ‘Cinderella’. Uncle was ‘out’, doing what Patton didn’t care. The house was quiet and he wasn’t flinching at every small sound. Sometimes he hoped that Uncle never came back. It was horrible of him he knew and he always tried to shake the thought out of his head. When their parents had died he and Thomas hadn’t had anyone. They could’ve been sent to separate foster homes. They could have never seen each other again. But Uncle had taken them in. Even though they had never met him before. He was Dad’s last surviving relative. He was family. Patton still couldn’t help but hate him sometimes…

“Alright Thomas, dinner’s almost ready!” He stretched to turn off the stove getting out bowls and cups.

“Coming.” 

Patton glanced into the living room, but Thomas hadn’t moved from his spot on the floor. Rolling his eyes fondly he poured his brother a glass of grape juice. The mice were singing about sewing a dress and Patton was just finishing spreading butter across a second slice of bread when the door banged open. He jumped, butter knife slipping from his fingers to clatter on the floor. 

“What the hell do you think you’re watching?” Spinning quickly, Patton watched as Thomas tried to scrabble across the floor, Uncle’s huge hand swooping down to hook into the back of his shirt. He pulled Thomas upright, shaking him where he stood, face pink and angry. “What are you some kind of queer?”

“No sir.” Thomas was crying, big fat tears leaking down his face. Patton felt frozen where he stood. He didn’t know what to do. For the two years they’d lived with Uncle he had done his best to keep the man’s rage focused on him. Keeping himself between Thomas and angry fists. 

“What are you crying for? Huh?” Uncle spat it in his face, jerking him around like a rag doll. He started dragging Thomas towards the couch in the corner of the room. Towards the cane Patton knew he kept stashed in the corner. “I’m gonna beat the crybaby right out of you boy. No nephew of mine is gonna grow up some kind of pervert.” 

Thomas pulled against their uncle’s hold, dragging his feet through the carpet, skinny wrist twisting. He was crying harder and babbling pleas, but Patton was proud of him. He wasn’t going  to let this happen. Uncle stopped as Thomas struggled, raising an open hand, his face boiling red. 

“Stop!” Everyone froze as Patton’s voice echoed through the house. Uncle turned to fix his ugly glare on him. 

“Stay out of this boy, or you’re next!” He hadn’t lowered his hand and as Patton watched he stretched it even higher, knuckles pointed toward his brother’s face. Without really thinking about it he grabbed the first thing his fingers touched and threw it as hard as he could.

“I said STOP!” 

Grape juice spilled from the cup in a wide arc as it sailed forward to collide with his Uncle’s hip, ricocheting off the denim to land amidst the stained carpet. 

The house suddenly felt a hundred degrees colder and Patton could barely breath past the tightening in his chest. Uncle dropped Thomas’ hand with aching slowness turning towards Patton with a deadly expression. His eyes flicked down to the purple floor and than back up to where Patton stood framed in the kitchen archway. Small and shaking. 

“Who do you think you are  _ boy?”  _  The floor shook with each step he took closer. Thomas was cowering against the T.V., frightened and helpless and Patton forced himself to stand a little taller. He was doing this for Thomas. He was doing this for Thomas. For Thomas. For Thomas. He repeated to himself as a mantra as his Uncle’s shadow loomed over him. A heavy hand soared down striking across his cheek and sending him staggering back against the counters. Thick fingers twined in his hair, jerking him up to throw him hard against the linoleum. “I take you in out of the goodness of my heart and you think this is how you can treat me??” A boot thunks against his ribs and Patton chokes on air.  _ For Thomas, for Thomas, for Thomas…  _ his eyes go up to find his brother, still crying and frozen against the edge of the T.V. “HUH?!” He feels something break across his back, liquid soaking his shirt, the butterknife from earlier is digging into his knee. 

“Thomas… run.” His voice is so weak he doesn’t think even Uncle heard him, but Thomas takes a step, like maybe he’s coming to help. Patton shakes his head frantically. Feels a hard grip pulling him to his feet and further into the kitchen. 

_ ‘GO.’  _ He mouths the word desperately, forcing a numb arm to point towards the door. Thomas shakes his head back, curling into himself. ‘ _ PLEASE.’  _ Patton isn’t crying yet, but he will be soon. He watches as Thomas inches towards the door with uncertainty in his eyes, and smiles more widely than he ever has. 

Uncle isn’t watching, is still ranting to Patton as he drags him to the sink. Patton doesn’t listen, his whole focus is on watching Thomas make for the door. He sees his hand touch the knob and than he’s pulled too far into the kitchen to see anything and the water goes on. Uncle whips him around and forces his head into the sink, too fast for Patton to grab a breath. But just before he does, just before he loses all his senses to the cascade of icy water pouring into his nose and mouth and dripping out his ears, he swears he hears the door open, and he prays with every piece of himself that Thomas ran through it. 

 

Patton opens his eyes to sirens and trumpets as the Grand Duke greets Lady Tremaine, sprawled across sticky carpet. His body is numb and aching and none of his muscles want to move but he forces himself to turn his head, to look for Thomas or Uncle. He doesn’t remember exactly what happened, but he hurts enough to figure it out. He finds Uncle stood too still at the window, peering through the blinds. Red and blue lights flash across his face. Patton wants to stand up. To see what the fuss is about, to find Thomas. But he’s not sure he can. His face is wet with tears he doesn’t remember crying. He tries to push himself upright and can’t help a gasp of pain. Uncle turns toward him so fast he flinches, a fear in his eyes Patton’s never seen before. 

“I was good to you boy, you hear me?” He sounds angry and desperate. “I raised you these past 2 years and I did good by you, you understand?” He moves toward Patton and Patton forces himself back, ignoring how his body screams. He doesn’t understand and he hurts and Cinderella is weeping in his ear far too loud. Uncle is standing like a picture, staring at Patton, hand stretched out like an apology. Patton doesn’t want it. Patton wants to know if Thomas is safe, wants not to hurt, wants to have never have had to come to his Uncle’s house, wants his Mom and Dad to be alive. Wants his Family. Because he was wrong, Uncle is not Family. How could he be? 

They both jump when someone pounds on the door. 

“Police! Open up!” 

Patton’s heart starts pounding and he’s not sure if it’s relief or not. Because if Uncle gets arrested than what’s going to happen to him and Thomas? Who's going to take care of them? Where will they go? They can’t take Thomas away from him! He’s all Patton has! They can’t take him! Don’t take him! 

He’s crying before he knows it. The room disappearing behind his tears. His breaths coming in heavy ragged gasps that makes his chest burn like fire but that he’s powerless to stop. He barely hears the door bang open past the blood rushing in his ears and Cinderella’s happily ever after. Everything is echo-y and far away and his vision is starting to waiver and darken. An invisible hand comes down against his shoulder and he can’t help recoiling, lashing out blindly. Everything is warping together into a messy blur and he can’t breathe at all anymore. Thomas. Where is Thomas? THOMAS! 

“Thoma-” he gags on the sound, high pitched and painful. There are more mysterious hands all over him. He feels them pressing against his neck, his stomach, his wrist. Feels something thick and stiff being fitted around his throat. Feels himself lifting from the ground. Feels...nothing. Simply fades into the darkness. 

 

Patton woke up to rough blankets scratching against his legs and a sharp pressure in his chest. Each breath felt like a victory and his body felt slow and chained down. There was another pressure in the back of his mind, something frantic and important, but he couldn’t think what it was. HIs mind was drifting without him, refusing to settle on a single thought. Images of mice and broken glass chasing each other through his head. Uncle’s face flashed beneath his eyelids, black with rage and his eyes flew open. He blinked dizzily for a moment before his vision settled on a woman, sitting beside his bed. She was dressed carefully, not a hair out of place and her eyes were rimmed in red, like she’d been crying. He knew her. 

She sat forward when she saw him looking, smiling without showing teeth and resting one of her hands near his own. 

“Hello Patton. Try not to move, okay? Your hurt pretty bad.” She stopped and just looked at him for a minute, mouth turned down sadly. Patton looked back. He didn’t feel hurt. He didn’t really feel anything. “Patton,” She said his name warily, like she was afraid hearing it would break him. “Do you know who I am?” 

He did. He didn’t know her name. Last time he’d seen her he’d been too sad to care. But he knew why she was here. That important thought was suddenly resting heavy and clear on the inside of his skull. Thomas. 

“Where’s Thomas?” It hurt to talk, hurt like he’d been screaming. The woman frowned at him, hand coming up to flutter at his shoulder. Patton glanced around the room but it was empty, just him and the woman, Thomas wasn’t there. “Where is he?”

“Patton, Patton, Stay calm. Don’t hurt yourself, Thomas is safe, I promise!” That fluttering hand pressed against his chest, light and burning. 

“Where is he? Thomas?” Patton sat up a little higher and it hurt. It hurt it hurt it hurt. It pulled at something inside him and made his mouth taste like pennies. “THOMAS!” 

“Thomas isn’t here!” He could see that and he didn’t like it. “But he’s safe! Patton, please!” She tried to push him back against the bed. He struggled, his stomach felt hot and angry. There was something screaming in his ear. “Patton!” 

Another woman rushed in. One he didn’t know. Yelling at the lady and pulling a needle from somewhere. She came toward Patton and he pulled back, yanked the thin covers up around his neck. His lady stopped her, put herself between Patton and the needle’s gleaming point. Rested a hand in his hair and pulled him close when the sobs wouldn’t stay inside anymore. He’s not sure how long he cried, but the nurse is gone and the screaming has faded into a regular beeping by the time he stops. 

“I want Thomas.” 

“I know sweetie.” The woman sighs long and heavy and when she looks at Patton there are tears in her eyes. “Can we talk now?” Patton nods, feeling small and selfish. She smiles again pulling back to look at him better. “The doctors told me that you’ve got some scars. They thought you probably got hurt a lot, is that true?” Patton can’t love his Uncle anymore, but he still feels guilty when he nods. The woman’s face got sadder. “Okay. They looked at Thomas too. Before we sent him to his foster. They said he  _ didn’t  _ get hurt as much.” She looks at him long and hard but Patton’s not sure what she wants. Isn’t it good that Thomas didn’t get hurt? He thinks it is. “Did you protect him Patton?” 

“Yes.” Of course he did, of course he protected his brother! Patton always did what was best for Thomas. 

“That’s good sweetie, you’re a brave boy Patton.” Patton shrank back against the pillows, he didn’t feel brave. The woman smiles and strokes his hair. “You did a good job protecting your brother. But now it’s my turn to protect you both.” She leans in close. “Patton. I don’t want to take you away from Thomas. I want you two to stay together.” Patton wants that too, more than anything. “But I also want you to take care of yourself.” She strokes a thumb across his wrist and he blinks in surprise at the bruises that have turned his skin black. He didn’t even feel them. “So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to separate you two- For now!” She raises a hand to cut him off when he tries to protest. “Just until you’re feeling better. When you’re healthy and strong again than we’ll see about placing you two back together. But Patton, sweetie, you got to take care of yourself too, okay?” 

He nods because it’s what she wants and he can’t change it. But it doesn’t feel okay. He’s supposed to take care of Thomas. His father said. He was the big brother, it was his responsibility. He didn’t need to take care of himself. He needed to take care of Thomas. 

 

It took several weeks for all his injuries to heal and by than Thomas was gone.


	2. Carrot Sticks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton meets someone knew and has lunch with his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna wait til Sunday to post this, but I'm almost finished with the whole story so I thought I'd post it today as a celebration!

“Hey Thomas!” Patton’s head moved around on instinct feeling a single flicker of old hope. There was a small group of teenage boys trailing a younger student. If Patton had to guess he’d say it was probably a Freshman. His heart gave a jolt.  _ Just the right age.  _

“I don’t think he heard you dude.” The group snickered and Patton tried to catch up. The leader darted forward, catching at the Freshman’s dark hoodie and yanking. Patton felt an old panic fluttering under his skin. The bang of a body against the lockers made people in the hallway stop to look or duck their heads and hurry past. Patton didn’t stop. 

“Where you goin’ buddy? Didn’t you hear me talking to you?” 

“Look at his  fugly face.” 

“What’s the matter Virgil? Are you  _ delicate?”  _

“That’s what Katie Themp said. She said you got transferred here because some kid made you cry. You gonna cry, Virgil?” 

Patton was getting a bit confused as the group pressed in closer, mocking words carrying easily in the stifled hall. He’d thought the kid was named Thomas? Why were they suddenly calling him ‘Virgil’? Was it some sort of slang word he didn’t know about? 

“What’s up Thomas? Got nothing to say?” There was a quieter bang as the Freshman was shoved back against the lockers. “Gonna get mad? Gonna cry?” There was a chorus of false sobbing. 

“I don’t know. Your face gets any closer and I might.” This new voice dripped snark and derision, the hall got quieter. 

“The hell did you say to me?” Patton was close enough to see the fight now. To see the new kid’s pale, angry face, purple bangs falling over eyes framed in guyliner. See the bigger kid towering over him, fists curling into his jacket as Patton watched, faces mere inches apart. 

“Blake, so handsy. At least buy me dinner first.” The purple haired kid smirked and Blake flushed red. 

“You think you’re funny or something asshole?” Patton saw a fist go back, saw the kid hide a flinch. Saw his Uncle trying to backhand Thomas in front of the television. 

“What’s going on here guys?” It felt like everyone in the hall turned to look at him but he made himself smile, wide and innocent. 

“Back off Patty-Cake, before I make you even more brain dead than you already are.” 

“Yeah, get out of here you dumb-ass.” 

Patton let the words wash over him like water, caught the drops and stored them in the same place he usually kept his memories of his Uncle. 

“Come on now, kiddos, let's not be mean.” He breathed a small sigh of relief as they dropped Thomas/Virgil, moving towards him enmasse. He didn’t let his smile waiver as they got in his face, didn’t let any part of himself shake. 

“Hey  _ airhead  _ I told you to get out of here.” 

He made himself laugh, bright and cheery. 

“Well I can’t do that, it would ruin my perfect attendance.” 

“I’m gonna ruin something.” 

Patton watched him pull back a fist, made himself breathe and didn’t let his eyes flicker to the kid still pressed to the lockers.

“Forget it Blake, this guy’s so stupid he’s not even worth it.” 

They stood like that for a few heartbeats, staring each other down. Patton kept his expression cheerful as Blake’s fist dropped. With a quick jerk of his head he gathered his men and they continued down the hall, one of his lackeys pausing to look back. 

“See you later,  _ Virgin.”  _ They all laughed like it was the greatest joke they’d ever heard. 

 

“You alright?” Patton said nothing when the kid jumped, turning to glare at him balefully. 

“You didn’t have to do that.” He sank into the depths of his hoodie, feet twisting against the linoleum. 

“I know.” 

“You looked like a moron.” 

“Yeah, I get that a lot.” He giggled so it hurt less, the kid stared. 

“I was handling it, I didn’t need help.” A sneaker clad foot bounced against the lockers. “...but...thanks I guess.” Patton grinned.

“No prob, Bob.” 

“Its...its Virgil.” Thomas must be a last name than. 

“Patton.” He stuck out a hand, Virgil stared at it a moment before reaching out to shake. “Nice to meet you Virgil.” 

“Whatever.” He slammed his hand into his hoodie, curling into himself. “I’m gonna be late for…” He gestured to the school in an encompassing fashion. 

“Oh sure. Sure. Sure.” Patton watched him walk away, feeling suddenly lonely. 

  
  


“Hey Logan, mind if I sit here?” Patton spoke a little louder to be heard over the cafeteria din. Logan didn’t bother to look up from his book.

“Patton, in the two years I have attended this school, when have I ever had issue with your joining me for lunch?” He fidgeted with his glasses and turned a page. 

“Well you never know when someone might need a break, I didn’t want you to feel like you didn’t have a choice.” Patton looked at him over the top of his own black frames. “You know how much I  _ carrot  _ about you.” He pointed at the orange sticks on his tray, beaming. 

“Just sit down.” 

“Alrighty.” He plopped into his spot and Logan finally lowered his book, eyeing him across the table. 

“I thought you hated carrots.” 

“Well, ya’ know it’s been awhile… I thought maybe I’d give them another try…” He eyed the vegetables dubiously and made no move to eat them. Logan stared at him. 

“Did you seriously get those carrots just so you could make that pun?” 

“ _ Maybe... _ doesn’t make it any  _ lettuce  _ true.” 

“Stop. Just stop.” Patton grinned as Logan finally put his book down to bury his face in his hands. “I will not allow you to waste food  _ and  _ subject me to this torture.” 

Patton giggled and Logan tried to go back to his reading, still shaking his head shamefully. Without Logan’s attention Patton let his eyes drift around the cafeteria, quickly locating Virgil sitting with another boy in the corner, hunched over and picking at his food. It didn’t look like he was eating much. Patton wanted to check on him again. Just make sure that he hadn’t truly been hurt this morning, that he liked the food. It was a familiar sensation, Patton had spent most of his childhood taking care of his brother and then other foster children. It was a deeply ingrained part of who he was. But this felt different. Deeper. 

“What up peasants?” A tray clattered down next to his own and he jumped head whipping around as Roman settled in beside him. 

“Roman.” Logan took a moment to nod “Did the theater kids finally get bored of your antics and kick you out?” 

Roman scoffed and Patton tried to keep his focus on his own table, smiling weakly.

“Puh-lease. I am the heart and soul of the theater group and you know it.” He gave his head a toss, leaning on an elbow and smirking over his meatloaf surprise. “I just thought I’d give you nerds a chance to bask in my presence before I rejoined my peers.”  

“You’re too kind.” Logan mumbled. 

“Aw, it's always good to see you Roman.” He smiled at the younger boy for a moment, unable to keep himself from glancing over his shoulder. Virgil had pulled up his hood and was rocking precariously on the bench seat. 

“I know it is. But perhaps there is someone out there you would prefer to see more, ‘ey Patton?” 

His attention rocketed back to Roman, who regarded him with a raised brow. 

“Wha-? No of course not!” 

“Oh really? So you weren’t checking someone out across the tables?” 

“No! I was just-” He glanced back at Virgil quickly.

“You have been a bit distracted today Patton, you haven’t even eaten your pudding cup, which you insist upon eating at the beginning of every lunch for some reason.” 

“I like pudding.” 

“Who are you even looking at?” Roman stood on the bench, scanning the tables of students.

“I was just checking on someone, they got into a bit of a scuffle and I wanted to make sure they were okay.” Which he wasn’t a hundred percent sure they were. 

“Oh no. Please tell me you weren’t checking out Mr. Tall, Dank and Loathsome.” 

“Who?” Logan didn’t stand, just craned his long neck trying to see over the the tops of people’s heads. 

“A new student, and a total emo nightmare.”   
“I wasn’t checking anyone out. I was just worried. And how did you know who he was?” 

“A good king knows all his subjects.” He struck a pose. “And he’s in homeroom with Valerie and she says he wouldn’t even talk to her. Rude much?” 

“I’m sure he’s just shy, he was perfectly nice when we spoke earlier.” Roman and Logan shared a look. 

“Was he actually nice nice, or was he Patton nice, where he didn’t actively try to kill you and kept swearing to a minimum?” 

Patton turned on Roman with a hurt expression. 

“You must admit your standards on good social manners are considerably lower than the norm.” Logan interceded, drawing Patton’s hurt expression to him. 

“I just think people deserve a little slack, I mean you never know what might be going on in there life.” 

“And while that is true, it is hardly good reason to take your frustrations out on unassuming strangers.” 

“So-” Roman prompted, scooting closer to Patton on the bench. “Why the long distance stare? You can tell us. No judgments.” He held up a hand. “On my honor.” 

“Roman is correct. If you are experiencing certain  _ feeling  _ for this individual and you have the desire to share, please know that Roman and I will support you, no matter what.” 

“That’s right. Although I must say, you could do so much better.” 

“Whoa! Whoa! Slow down there kiddos, I don’t have feelings for Virgil.” 

“You don’t?” Was it Patton’s imagination, or did Logan look relieved? 

“No! At least, not romantic ones.” 

“Well that’s a relief.” Roman’s hand came down against his shoulder hard and Patton didn’t let himself flinch, blinking away images from the past. “You know I love you Patton, but I was seriously going to reevaluate our friendship if that’s where your tastes are at.” He shuddered delicately. 

“I promise it’s strictly platonic, he just…” Patton studied his fingers. He’d never told his friends about his Uncle or Thomas. Never told them about his parents or life in the foster system. He still lived with Mrs. Shapirez, an older latina woman who’d taken him in when he was 16 and because of that he’d never invited his friends over to his house. It wasn’t that he was ashamed, at least he told himself he wasn’t, he loved Mrs. Shapirez dearly, it’s just… he’d spent so long as ‘the slow witted orphan boy’, always wearing second hand clothes and spending too much time with younger kids. Nobody had wanted anything to do with him unless it was out of pity. When he’d been moved that final time 4 years ago, it had felt like his chance to be someone new. 

People still thought he was stupid, because he smiled too much and had been held back 2 grades. But he’d still managed to find a few people, Logan and Roman, who were willing to give him a chance. He wasn’t sure what they thought about his family or his living situation it had never really come up. But his grades were better thanks to Logan and he never felt lonely with Roman’s personality to fill the room. He did his best to be as honest with them as he could and to keep them from ever feeling sorry for him. “He feels like he could use a friend.” And Patton knew what that felt like. 

“Well he looks like he’s pretty chummy with that kid he’s with. I don’t know about you, but I don’t let just anyone touch this face.” Patton turned to look, ignoring Roman’s model pout for the moment. The kid Virgil was with was leaning toward him across the table, fingers apparently playing with the fringe of his bangs. Patton wrinkled his nose, he wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t like the way that kid was smiling. 

“Honestly Patton, it is not your job to care for every student in the school.” 

Sighing Patton straightened himself, playing with his carrots forlornly as Logan watched him over the top of his book. 

“I know I just…”

Setting his textbook aside gently, Logan reached across the table, plucking the carrot stick from Patton’s hand. 

“‘ _ Carrot  _ help it’?” 

Patton barked a startled laugh as he looked up into Logan’s gentle brown eyes. 

“Aw, Logan! Was that a pun? For me?” He smiled happily as Logan blushed faintly pink across his cheeks. 

“Yes well, it seemed the simplest way of improving your mood, also I apologize for reconstituting your earlier joke. I realize repetition is not something one generally wishes to see in puns.” 

“Aw, I don’t mind! It’s the  _ croi- _ **_thought_ ** that counts!” His friends stared at him as he smiled around the table. “Like  _ croissant  _ but it’s  _ croi-thought,  _ get it?” Logan’s head went back in his hands and Roman covered his eyes.

“That was absolutely horrible.” 

Patton laughed joyously, happy to sink back into careless conversation. When he looked back to Virgil’s table a few moments later both boys were gone, and Patton tried to tell himself he had no right or reason to worry. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for all the horrible puns and stuff... I fail at funny.


	3. Bathroom Bonding And Lunch Angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton shares a moment with Virgil and Logic experiences ~feelings~.

Patton did his best to follow Logan’s advice and put Virgil out of his mind. He still saw him in the halls, passing glances that told him very little. And while he didn’t actively seek the boy out he did learn a few things about him. Virgil Thomas was a Freshman who had transferred from another district after another teen had bullied him into a panic attack that ended at the hospital. He suffered from mild PTSD after an event in his early life that nobody knew anything about. He was an only child, and his only friend was Jakob Despereaux, a Sophomore with a bad attitude and a birthmark that covered half his face. Patton wasn’t sure why but he’d never really liked him. 

 

Patton hummed to himself as he pulled books from his locker, shoving them into his bag. He was leaving school a bit late because Ms. Twilter had wanted him to complete an extra credit assignment to make up his failing science grade and the school was almost empty. He liked the quiet. There was something almost magical about a school not overwhelmed by the press of bodies. He made to swing his locker shut, the light metal door clipping him across the face and sending his glasses skittering down the hall. 

“Whoops.” Laughing at himself and prodding at the shallow cut by his eye Patton chased after his spectacles. They had come to rest outside the men’s room as Patton stooped to pick them up he heard a quiet snuffling come from within. Sliding the frames back on his nose Patton turned toward the noise. His footsteps echoed off the restroom walls as he crept inside. “Hello? Someone in here?” There was no response, no noise. “Not trying to bother you, just wanted to see if you were okay.” He peered under the stalls but there were no dangling feet. “Alrighty then.” He turned to go, stopping to stare at his reflection in the room’s massive mirror. The lights made him seem pale and his arms were still half full of books. “Well Patton, I guess you’re going a bit crazy.” He forced a laugh, although he wasn’t sure who he was forcing it for. He had just gotten so used to putting on the ruse it was hard to stop. 

“Patton?” 

Patton jumped at the soft voice behind him, his books scattering.

“Howie Mandel! Uh…” His eyes flitted across the ceiling. “Yes bathroom ghost?” There was a soft snort. 

“Behind you.” With his heart half in his throat, Patton turned slowly. Virgil smirked at him. 

“Oh, Hiya’ Virgil!” He smiled, the expression fading slowly as he took in Virgil’s reddened eyes and the tear tracks etched into his cheeks. “What’cha doin’ in the bathroom, kiddo?” Virgil winced. 

“Nothing. Bathroom stuff.” 

“Oh...right.” Another forced laugh. Virgil scuffed his shoes and did his best not to look at Patton or the mirror. Patton wanted to hug him. “You feelin’ alright buddy?” He seemed surprised by the question but Patton couldn’t think why. 

“I’m fine.” His voice was sharp and Patton nodded, trying to appear relaxed and not at all like he wanted to gather Virgil to his bosom and never let go. Men had bosoms right? He was pretty sure they did. 

“I only ask because you seem kinda...down.” 

“Forget it. What the hell do you know anyway?” 

Patton laughed a hollow laugh, keeping his voice light and airy. 

“According to my teachers not a lot.” He stretched his mouth out in a grin. 

“Shit, Patton.” Virgil reached for him, curling back at the last moment. “I’m...I’m sorry. I just…” He brushed a hand through his plum pigmented hair. “I’m dealing with some stuff, alright?” 

“No, I get it, I didn’t mean to pry.” Patton held his hands out in a placating fashion. His smile a bit more genuine now where it wasn’t buried beneath concern. “You wanna talk about it?” 

“No.” Virgil sank to the bathroom floor and Patton followed him, sitting criss cross applesauce and saying nothing when he wiped away another tear. “I just…” He sighed. “I’m such a screw up.” 

“You are not!” 

“How do you know? You don’t know anything about me.” There was no malice in the words now, just denial. 

“Maybe not, but I still think you’re pretty fantastic. And no matter what you do as long as you  _ try  _ you could never be a screw up!” 

Virgil smirked, still sad and washed out.

“Wow Pat, that’s... pretty inspirational stuff.” 

“Well it’s true.” He nodded decisively, banging his head against the counter as he did so. “Ow.” Virgil laughed and Patton revelled in the sound, reminded strangely of Superman and cardigan capes. 

“Thanks Pat.” he kicked a boot against Patton’s leg. “You’re pretty great.” 

“Oh, stop it.” He wiggled his shoulders bashfully. Virgil gave him a smile as he slowly rose to his feet, waving a hand in farewell. Patton watched him walk to the door for a moment before scrabbling upright, hand outstretched. “Oh! Hey, Virgil!” 

“Yeah?” 

“I just wanted to let you know, no pressure or anything, but if you ever wanted to...to hang out at lunch or something, there’s always room at our table.” 

He nodded, his face suddenly uncertain and uncomfortable. 

“Thanks Pat.” 

Patton waved as he left the bathroom. 

 

“... she is widely considered the first computer programmer-”  Logan was attempting to help him with his history homework, but Patton found he couldn’t focus.

HIs head went around again, watching Virgil pick at his food. It had been a few days and he still hadn’t taken up Patton’s offer to join their group for lunch. He had also been eating alone. Jakob Despereaux nowhere to be seen. He was almost relieved. Except he hated to think that Virgil might be lonely.

“Am I boring you Patton?” 

“Huh?” He jerked to attention, Logan regarding him cooly across the lunch table. 

“Perhaps there is someone with which you would rather be spending your time?” He gestured off hand at Virgil’s corner of the room. 

“No, no, I promise, I’m listening.” Patton gave a weak smile, retrieving his pencil from where it lay poking into his mash potatoes. 

“Very well. Read back your notes.” Logan folded his fingers primly. Patton blinked down at his blank notebook. 

“Er…” 

“I see.” His head dropped and Patton’s heart clenched. “It’s not a big deal, You are distracted, it happens to all of us. We can try again later.” He snapped his book shut, shoving it into his bag and scooping up his untouched tray. “Or perhaps you can get Virgil to help you with your homework as you find him so fascinating.” Patton blinked and Logan breathed, his face slightly red. “That was uncalled for, forgive me.” He hesitated a moment, than turned and stalked from the room. 

“Wow.” Roman’s voice startled him an Patton turned to find him regarding him over his phone. “Way to go Patton, you finally made him malfunction.” He arched a brow.

“I didn’t meant to upset him! I-I just-” 

Roman’s hand fell heavy on his shoulder and he sighed. 

“Look I get it, you have some weird thing about the Greenday wannabe. He’s shiny and new and you wanna gather up his dark soul and make him feel special.” Roman moved his hands around as he spoke. “But while you’re busy making ‘friends’, try and remember the ones you’ve already got.” 

Patton blinked burning eyes, feeling stupid and horrible. 

“Oh, Roman, I’m so sorry I didn’t ever mean to make you feel-”

“Not me! I have more than enough attention, thank you, I’m talking about Mr. Peabody!” He gestured at the closed cafeteria doors. “Now hurry up and go make nice, I hate it when the parents fight.” 

“Wha-”

“Never mind. Go, go!” 

Suddenly feeling frantic and shaking for some reason he wasn’t sure of, Patton tore away from the table. Leaving his tray and all his things he ran after Logan. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is now complete and could be updated daily, if that's what you guys want? Comment and let me know ;D


	4. Confrontations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan's ~feelings~ Continue

“Logan!” Patton’s shout caught the attention of every person in the hall, including the Junior he was looking for. Logan turned as his name reverberated off the walls and Patton felt like he’d been slapped. His hair was tousled, his tie loose around his neck but worst of all were the tears glittering in his eyes. 

“Patton-” 

He didn’t let him get further than that. Charging forward he wrapped his arms around the other boy and squeezed. His own cheeks were hot with tears and for a moment he couldn’t speak as Logan stiffened in his hold. He should let go. He knew how much the younger man disliked physical contact. But he couldn’t. Thomas had been on his mind so much lately, he’d relived that final day in his dreams so many times in the past few weeks he’d lost count. The thought of losing Logan like he had his brother… without anyone to blame but himself… it was terrifying. He hadn’t meant to make his friends feel ignored. He really hadn’t. Roman was right, he’d just been so swept up in making sure that Virgil didn’t feel abandoned he’d never stopped to consider that Logan might. A hand patted at his back and Logan said his name again, low and concerned. 

“I’m so sorry Logan.” He loosened his arms but didn’t pull back. He didn’t want to let go yet. “I was being selfish. I was so caught up in taking care of Virgil I didn’t stop to think about how I was making  _ you  _ feel. I didn’t mean to ignore you, honest, please don’t leave.  _ Don’t hate me.”  _ His tears grew stronger as he spoke until he was sobbing against Logan’s throat. “I don’t want to lose you  _ too.”  _

“Patton! Patton please! Calm down.” Gently, Logan pried him off his chest, pushing him back until he could frown down at his face. “You are not losing me.”

“I’m not?” 

“No.” Logan huffed, looking away for moment before he turned back with a gentler expression. “This is my fault, while I can admit I was feeling...isolated...I should not have behaved so  _ irrationally _ , I overreacted and I apologize.”

“No,  _ Logan... _ You should never have to apologize for how you  _ feel. _ ” He made a vague noise and resisted the urge to grab Logan back into a hug. “Gah, I love you Logan…” He twisted his face up in determination as Logan looked away, fidgeting with his glasses. “That is something I want you to always know. And if you’re not feelin’ the love than clearly I need to change some things.” 

“Patton, no, please, you are  _ fine. _ I am well aware of your penchant for gather ‘strays’” He did air quotes as he said it. “For want of a better term. I remember very clearly when you decided to bring Roman into your little...uh, group.”

“You mean  _ our  _ little group.” 

Logan blushed. 

“Ahem, yes, ours…” They stared at each other Patton smiling softly as Logan’s blush deepened. He cleared his throat again. “Anyway.” he blinked and fixed his glasses again. “But, it felt different with Roman...I felt...included. I felt like a part of the friend making ‘process’.” 

“Not really a place for ‘air quotes’, Logan buddy.” 

“Regardless...with Virgil it feels as if...as if you are not just ignoring me,” Patton winced. “But excluding me entirely, and I don’t understand why. Have I done something? Offended you in someway? I realize I am not the most… emotionally accessible person and many social cues are beyond my understanding… but if you would only explain I’m sure I could correct my behavior and we could move forward. Together.” 

Patton seized him in another hug, squeezing so hard he squeaked. He felt stupid and empty, and full and worthless. He didn’t deserve Logan. He didn’t know how he ever could. Logan was so...so… He squeezed harder.

“Patton...please...my ribs.” 

“Oh, sorry.” He dropped the taller boy and Logan took a moment to wheeze, coughing slightly. “Oh, Logan, you could never do anything wrong! You’re my friend and I love you! And… I’m sorry I made you feel so awful… I didn’t mean to, I swear! I just...Virgil…” He glanced back to the cafeteria doors and when he faced forward again Logan was regarding him with a hurt expression. Patton groaned in frustration. “I wish there was some way I could explain without-” He stopped, dropping his eyes to his shoes. 

“Without? Patton?” Logan reached for him, his fingers brushing against his wrist. Patton turned away, teeth sunk deep in his lip. 

“Without changing the way you feel about me.” Patton’s voice was softer than Logan had ever heard it. Patton rubbed at his eyes. How could he do it? How could he reveal to Logan, his best friend, that he had been lying to him for years? How could he tell him about his brother and his Uncle and the years he’d spent in the system? It would change the way Logan thought of him forever… He would pity him… or hate him...or he would leave, and never speak to him again… Patton started to shake, tears returned full blast, his breath speeding up and shortening with every intake. Because he would lose him… he would lose Logan and Logan would take Roman with him and then who would he have left? Nobody. He would be alone. Again. All alone in a world that was too big to survive by himself. Nobody would want anything to do with him. He would be that weird kid without a family all over again and he couldn’t do it…

“-Patton! Patton, breathe!” Logan’s face swam into focus, pinched with worry, his hands cupped around Patton’s cheeks. “Do it with me. In. Out.” His breath smelled like celery and toothpaste as it washed against Patton’s lips. He sucked in a matching breath. Over and over until his chest had stopped heaving. “Well done Patton, that’s it. In and out.” 

Patton tried to smile as he let out a final exhale, sniffling quietly. 

“Sorry you had to see that.” He gave a strained laugh. “I went a bit silly there.” 

“Patton, that was not ‘silly’. You had a panic attack! Are you alright? I am aware I should not have touched you, but given your physical personality I thought it might help. 

“That wasn’t a panic attack! I’m fine! I just needed a little  _ Patton  _ the back!” He smiled wider, still feeling drained and shaky. Logan looked unimpressed.

“Well, you do appear to be feeling better at least.”

“Of course I am! And I’m sorry about the Virgil thing, I’ll do better I promise.” 

“Apology accepted, I too will endeavour to control my...less noble...attributes.” 

“Friends?” Patton opened his arms wide. Logan smiled softly and stepped into his embrace, his own limbs coming up to settle, somewhat awkwardly around Patton’s back.

“We were never anything less.” 

  
  


Logan’s stomach growled suddenly and Patton giggled, pressing his smile into the other boy’s neck.  

“Wanna go back to lunch?” 

“That would be satisfactory. Except I have already dumped my lunch tray.” Logan’s arms dropped to his sides.

“That’s alright, we can share mine.” Patton gave him a final squeeze before stepping back. 

The two walked back to the cafeteria, elbows brushing, Patton not wanting to be far from his friend. Roman’s voice rose above the din as the doors closed behind them. 

“- so just come hang out with us so Patton can stop looking like a kicked puppy and they can both go back to being geeky oblivious nerds in love, alright?” 

“Who even are you?” 

Patton perked up as Virgil’s quieter voice followed his friend’s, and felt Logan deflate beside him. Not saying anything, he reached out and seized Logan’s hand in his own, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Logan blushed, again, glancing at the hoard of students that surrounded them but Patton didn’t let go. If they wanted to think he loved Logan let them, it was true after all. Casting Logan a beaming smile he dragged him over to Virgil’s table, ignoring his attempts at protest. 

“Excuse you, I am Roman Prince! The heart and soul of the school drama group, thank you very much!” Roman was still talking too loud, his arms looped across his chest.

“You’re a Roman prince? Pphht. Vain much?” 

“That’s not what I said and you know it!” 

“Who names their kid ‘Roman Prince’?” 

“My parents are jerks, okay? Besides it’s better than ‘Virgil’, I mean what is that even about?” 

“You keep telling yourself that, Princess.”

“Uh, jealous much?” 

“What’s goin’ on here fellas?” Patton interrupted swiftly, holding Logan close to him. While Virgil seemed entirely at ease, Roman looked like he was about ready to throw a punch, face red and fists clenched. Virgil turned to him as he spoke, offering the tiniest smile. 

“Hey Pat, mind calling off your boyfriend? He’s giving me a headache.” 

“WERE YOU NOT LISTENING TO A  _ WORD  _ I SAID?” Roman exploded before Patton could do more than open his mouth. “ _ I  _ am not the boyfriend here, he is!” He gestured at Logan, who could do little more than blink and raise a hand before Roman was barreling on. “ _ I  _ am the witty and handsome friend forced to watch their inner conflict of oblivious denial-  _ and you- _ ” He stabbed a finger in Virgil’s face. “Are the obnoxious side character putting a kink in my matchmaking genius!” He finished with a  hand flourish, the whole cafeteria silent around him. 

“...what’s happening?” Patton asked, looking between Roman’s flushed face and Virgil’s quiet smirk. 

“B-boyfriend?” Logan stammered quietly beside him, blushing furiously and wiggling his hand out of Patton’s grasp. Patton tried not to feel hurt. Roman groaned, looking to the ceiling. 

“Would you look at that?” He gestured at their separated hands. “Months of work! Undone! All thanks to you!” 

“Hey, I’m not the one with the big mouth.” Virgil popped a grape in said mouth, still smirking. 

“Well if you’d been listening like a  _ decent  _ person, there would have been no need for my ‘big mouth’ now would there?” 

Virgil rolled his shoulders in a careless shrug and Roman stamped foot, fuming. 

“Uh- you appear to have been supplied with some misinformation?” Logan stepped between the two. “We are not in a relationship.” He gestured between Patton and himself, shoulders tight. 

“That’s right,” Patton jumped in, a big, half fake smile on his face. “We’re just good buds, right Logan?” 

“Correct. I’m not sure where you got the impression that Patton and I were romantically involved Roman, but it is… false.” 

“Don’t you mean  _ Roman-  _ tically? Eh?” He nudged Logan in the ribs, heart jumping when Virgil almost grinned. 

“No I did not. Nor would I ever.” Logan glared. 

“You can’t fool me Logan, I’ll get you aboard the pun train, even if I have to  _ pun-  _ ish you, to do it!” 

“Please stop.” 

Patton giggled at Logan’s pained expression and Roman heaved a loud sigh, dropping theatrically to the bench opposite Virgil with an arm across his eyes. 

“So much work  _ wasted! _ ” 

“Aw, what’s the matter Princey? True love not all it’s cracked up to be?” 

“Silence you!” 

Smiling, Patton pulled Logan to the table, tucking them both into the seat beside Virgil and giving him his happiest grin. Virgil smiled back, though it was small and his eyes were still shadowed, and pushed his tray a few inches closer. Still beaming and listening to Roman wax poetic about the nobility of love he took the apple from the corner of the tray, winking as he pressed it into Logan’s hands. Feeling lighter than he had in a long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story continues. I would love any and all feedback. Thanks for all the comments, kudos and reads guys!


	5. Drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman is protective.

Virgil came around more and more in the days that followed. Hovering on the edges. Not exactly in the group but close enough to be a part of it. Patton did his best to draw him closer, looping his arm around the younger boy’s neck and dragging him along beside him. Logan tried to help, starting up stilted conversations and offering even more stilted compliments. It was a slow process. And it seemed for each step they made forward Roman was there to push them two steps back. Patton wasn’t sure what issue he had with Virgil but the pair had entered into some sort of hostile…  _ arrangement… _ and as much as Patton knew Roman meant well and as much as Virgil played everything off like a joke- he could see how much the fighting hurt them. Carelessly flung words digging deeper than intended. 

He caught the looks Virgil turned on the other boy when he thought no one was looking, saw the way Roman preened when he saw Virgil coming down the hall. But they had started off on a bad foot and both were too proud to try and make it better. They had moments. Small precious things that ended in timid smiles and even more timid touch. The day Roman lent Virgil a shirt after Blake’s crew had dumped cafeteria chilli down his front. The evening spent at Roman’s house when Virgil had done everyone’s makeup. Fleeting everyday things that were quickly buried and forgotten. 

 

Patton mounted the stage steps, sidestepping the hectic bustle of the drama kids as they prepared for the spring performance. He was there to collect Roman, who had spent the afternoon in rehearsals, and Virgil, who was helping with the lights and sets as a part of one of his electives, Patton wasn’t clear on which one. Logan was waiting for all of them out in the parking lot, where he was undoubtedly also getting ahead in his calculus work. They were going to spend the day at Virgil’s house, doing homework and playing video games, Patton was determined to get Logan to play Dance Dance Revolution, but his friend was nothing if not stubborn. 

“A fine performance, if I do say so myself.” That was Roman’s voice and Patton pushed forward, already waving for attention. 

“You might as well, no one else is going to.” He could hear the smirk in Virgil’s voice.

“Why must you always undermine my confidence? Do you want me to fail?” 

“What?  _ No. _ I just don’t want your head getting any bigger.” He heard Virgil snort a laugh as he ducked through a coat rack, the duo coming into clear view for the first time. Virgil was tousling Roman’s hair, standing on a chair to reach as the taller boy tried to fight him off. 

“Virgil! Not the hair, how many times must I say- ahg- Virgil!” 

Patton giggled, opening his mouth to call out, when a girl stormed over to the pair, already flipping her hair. 

“ _ I  _ thought you were awesome Roman.” She leaned in too close and the boys stopped their wrestling pulling apart slowly. 

“ _ Thank you  _ Candace! I was rather fabulous. You see Virgil? This is the proper attitude to take towards someone with my  _ talents. _ ” 

Virgil scoffed, and Patton could see the girl’s glare from where he stood. 

“Whatever dude.” He flopped into his chair, sending Candace a look that matched her own. She decided to ignore him. 

“So Roman, a few of the drama kids are getting together for an awesome party tonight. You should come.” She twirled her finger through her hair, swaying into Roman’s personal space. He offered her a smile that was slightly stiff. 

“Ah, a tempting offer, but alas, Virgil and I have plans tonight” He gestured to Virgil, who raised a hand in salute. “So I’m afraid we’ll have to pass.” 

It was her turn to scoff, hooking her hand around Roman’s arm. 

“You’re so sweet R, but you don’t need to hang out with that  _ loser. _ You’re so much better than him anyway, just ditch and come to the party, I’m sure he’s used to it.” 

“Alright.” Patton blinked in shock, and Virgil’s expression was crushed at Roman’s quiet answer. Patton was ready to charge forward as Candace preened, giving Virgil another nasty look. But before he could Roman was prying the girl’s hand off his body, face hard. “I’m not sure what sort of person you think I am, but just so we’re clear- that’s not it.” He backed up, pulling Virgil up beside him as he put distance between Candace and himself. “I am  _ not  _ going to ‘ditch’ Virgil, just to go to some party with  _ you. _ ” Candace’s mouth was hanging open as Roman gave her a withering look. “Like, I’m not even sure who you  _ are,  _ are you even in this class? Because I’ve never seen you before. And what’s more? Virgil is my  _ friend,  _ is he as wonderful as I am?...you’re damn right he is. And anyone who does not think so is so  _ not  _ worth my time. So go on… shoo.” He waved her off and a few people in the background cheered briefly, Patton not the only one caught watching. Candace blushed, stamping her foot before she marched off. “You alright there, count Drabula? You look kind of..” He trailed off, taking a few steps back and looking suddenly self conscious. “Was it the friend thing? Did you not want me telling her that we’re- because I get it, I mean, I  _ know  _ I’m amazing and everything, but if you don’t feel that way that’s- you’ve got your own ‘image’ thing going on and I mean, what self respecting emo elmo wants to be friends with the drama kid, am I right? So...I mean-”

“Thanks Roman, that was...really awesome...what you did.”

“Dude, are you  _ crying? _ ” 

“ _ No. _ Back off man, alright? This place is like full of dust.” 

“Right, yes, of course. The dust.” 

“Yeah…” He cleared his throat and Patton saw his shoulders wiggle. “Anyway, we should probably get out of here. Logan and Patton are probably waiting for us.” 

“Right. Right.” 

“And Roman?”

“Yeah, Verge?” 

“You’re my friend too… or whatever.” 

“Aw, you big softie! I knew I’d win you over with my charm!” 

“Right...you’re ‘charm’, that’s definitely what did it.” 

“Don’t be a hater Virgil, you know you love me.” 

“Whoa, nobody said anything about love alright? I tolerate you. That’s it.” 

“Whatever you need to tell yourself.” 

Giggling and with his mouth stuck in a permanent smile, Patton finally waved them over, graciously ignoring the way they blushed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, hope you guys don't mind. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and the kudos and comments! They make me so happy!


	6. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A snake rears its head.

Patton was staring at Logan, they were standing outside the school, waiting for the doors and the other three were talking, but Patton wasn’t really listening. Just watching Logan’s slight frown, his careful movements. Roman was gesturing in every direction, Virgil a hunched shadow at his side. None of them were mad. None of them were sad. They weren’t beaming or laughing, but Patton could see the quiet moments of happiness. Logan’s quirked lips, the sparkle in Roman’s eyes, Virgil’s loose shoulders. All his friends were together, and no one was upset. Patton was as content as he’d been in a long time. 

There was still Thomas, a silent pressure, every day he failed to find him putting another chip in his spirit. It felt like he had spent half his life looking for his lost brother but he knew he could never give up. It meant too much. He needed to know that his brother was safe and happy. That he hadn’t failed him completely. Because it had been his responsibility. His responsibility to keep them together, to keep Thomas safe. How deserted must Thomas have felt when Patton didn’t come back from the hospital? Did he blame himself? Patton hoped he didn’t. Just the thought made him hurt. Did he think that he had been abandoned? That Patton had chosen to leave him? He knew that Thomas probably hated him. For not taking care of him like he should have. For not doing more when Uncle got angry. For being unable to stop the tears that Thomas cried every night. It was a weight he would never be rid of… not until he could find Thomas, find redemption. 

His friends could help him. It wasn’t the first time he’d had the thought. It circled through his head regularly. Logan was so smart he could probably find Thomas in a day. Roman was so determined Patton knew he would never give up. And Virgil, Virgil would keep them all from destroying themselves looking. It would be easy. But first he’d have to tell them everything. They’d have to know about Uncle. About his years as a ward of the state. About Mrs. Shapirez and all the  _ lies  _ he’d told… About all the ways he’d let them down. All the ways he’d let Thomas down. That beneath his veneer of cheer and optimism, behind his Pacifists attitude… he was nothing more than a coward. So afraid of being his Uncle…

“What do you think Patton?” 

“Wha- huh?” He blinked as Logan’s attention suddenly focused on him, shivering out of his dark thoughts. 

“You alright there, Patton? You seem sort of- uh, out of it.” Roman waved a hand in front of his own face, frowning. Virgil looked like he wanted to reach out but was holding himself back. 

“Well, sure I’m alright.” He chuckled, pressing his hands to his hips so he didn’t fidget with them. “No need to worry kiddos, just restin’ the old noodle before another big day of learning.” He smiled a touch too wide. 

“Right…” They all stared at him for a moment. 

“So you’re good with it?” Roman rested the tips of his fingers on Patton’s shoulder. 

“Good with what?” 

“With hosting next week’s activities.” 

“Way to undersell it there Commander Specks.” Roman and Logan turned on each other frowning deeply. “I thought we all agreed to call it the Nerdgasm Marathon?” 

“I never agreed to that.” 

While the other two bickered Virgil sidled up to him, his own frown a gentler expression on his face. 

“You sure you’re alright, Pat?” 

“Of course I am Verge, you know me. You can’t keep this smile upside- _ frown  _ for long.” 

Virgil snorted. 

“Not your best Pat.” 

Patton shrugged happily. 

“Whatever! I’m not even discussing this with you right now!” Roman turned back to them, ignoring Logan’s scowl. “Can you do it Pat or what?” 

“Ooh, ah, ya’ know, I would…” 

Logan and Roman both rolled there eyes, already turning away from him. 

“Of course.” 

“Typical.” 

“What’s going on?” That was Virgil, and Patton drooped as he turned confused eyes in his direction. 

“Patton’s just flaking, as usual.” 

“Patton did not agree to anything, therefore he cannot be ‘flaking’ as the term typically applies. However he is engaging in fairly usual behavior. That Roman got right.” 

“What?” 

“Patton never hosts  _ anything.”  _ Patton dropped his head as Logan nodded along to Roman’s words. “He’s always got some  _ excuse. _ ” 

“Indeed. I have been friends with Patton for almost 2.5 years and even I have never seen his living space.” Logan crossed his arms, shoulders hunched and Virgil turned to him again. 

“Pat, is that true?” 

Patton blushed rubbing at the back of his head. 

“It’s not that I don’t want you guys to come over, because  _ I do _ , really, I just…” Don’t want you to look down on me.

“Whatever, it’s fine. But we can’t have the Nerdgasm Marathon at my place, my mom’s redoing the kitchen and it is  _ terrifying. _ ” Roman took on a suitably scared expression. 

“And my Aunt refuses to allow multiple teenagers into her home overnight. Not after Roman insulted her mastery of art.” 

“It wasn’t an  _ insult _ I genuinely thought it was a picture of  _ trash.”  _

Logan huffed, turning towards Virgil. 

“What about you Virgil? Would your parents allow it?” 

“I don’t know. I can ask I guess.” He shrugged jerkily. 

“Well, I suppose that’s all we can-” 

“Hey! Virgil!” They turned as a group when Virgil’s name was called and Patton frowned as Jakob Despereaux approached. “Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you for days.” He kept his eyes almost solely on Virgil, gaze flicking briefly to Roman as his arms crossed. 

“Jakob?” Virgil suddenly looked smaller, stepping closer to Roman’s side. “What are you doing here?” 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jakob’s face twisted. “What? You have new friends now, so suddenly you’re too good for me?” 

“What?  _ N-no.”  _

“Real classy Virgil.” 

“That’s not what I meant! I just- last time we talked you...you said you didn’t want to see me again.” Virgil’s voice shrank as he spoke until it was barely a whisper. 

“And I can’t change my mind?” 

“No. I mean, sure. Just...why would you?” Virgil still sounded hurt and Patton moved closer, taking up a stance beside his friend. 

“Virgil,  _ buddy, _ you’re my best friend.” Jakob smiled, the expression greasy and sharp. Patton heard Logan scoff quietly. “I would  _ never  _ just  _ abandon  _ you. I just needed a bit of a break. You know how that is.” 

“Not really.” Virgil grumbled, arms wrapped tight around his own torso. 

“Oh really? That’s not how  _ I  _ remember it. As I recall you abandoned me to a lot of things.” Jakob’s eyes narrowed, Patton had never noticed they were different colors before. “You never wanted to go to parties, or the movies, you wouldn’t even come to that MCR concert  _ I  _ got us tickets for. You were just so much  _ work _ .” 

“Dude I have anxiety, parties and concerts aren’t really my thing. We went to the movies lots of times.” 

“But we never  _ really  _ saw what  _ I  _ wanted to see. Did we?” 

“Yes we di-”

“Never mind all that now. It’s in the past. I just want to be friends again.” He offered a hand and Patton saw Virgil hesitate. 

“What about all the things you said? Before?” 

Jakob’s eyes flashed. 

“Never mind those things. I told you, it's in the past.” 

“Yeah I guess, I just...they kinda…” Virgil glanced at each of their faces, Patton tried to give him a reassuring smile. “Hurt my feelings.” His shoulders sunk further inward.

“ _ They hurt your feelings?  _ Do you not hear how pathetic you sound?” Jakob barked a cruel laugh. “You see Virgil this is why you have no friends. Your clingy, and shallow and  _ selfish.  _ I honestly don’t know how I put up with you.”

“Falsehood.” Logan stepped to the front of their group, putting himself between Virgil and Jakob. “Virgil is far from clingy, if anything I’d say he’s too  _ reserved  _ and I have often felt that he kept himself distant from the group. Furthermore, there is nothing ‘pathetic’ about acknowledging one’s feelings. They are an integral part of the human experience and I have learned recently that we could all merit greatly from listening to them more closely.” He shot Patton a look and Patton beamed. 

“Yeah,” Roman jumped in, pulling Virgil closer against him. “And if you think Virgil is  _ selfish,  _ than you obviously don’t know him that well, I mean seriously? Verge is one of the least selfish people I know, and I know  _ Patton, _ ” Patton waved shyly. “I mean seriously, this guy gives so much of himself! All his time and energy, it’s freaking  _ amazing.  _ I’d like to see you  _ try  _ and be half as awesome as Virgil, because let me tell you, this guy, is freaking incredible, alright? So back off.” He snapped a ‘Z’ in front of himself like he was warding the man away. Patton beamed at his friends, at Logan’s primly crossed arms and Roman’s defiant glare, at Virgil’s shocked and blushing face, stepping up to put himself at the center of Jakob’s angry gaze. 

“It’s too bad you don’t know Virgil like we do. If you did you’d realize just what an amazing person he really is. And how many friends he’s got. You could almost say he’s on the-”

“Don’t.”

“ _ Verge,  _ of perfection.” 

Logan’s head fell in his hands. 

Jakob’s expression was poisonous. The scar tissue on one side of his face nearly purple with rage. 

“You think he’s so amazing now, but you don’t know him. Not like I do. Just watch. He’ll shut you out. Like he always does. Because he’s  _ pathetic  _ and he can’t handle having  _ friends.”  _

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll try.” Logan spoke up. “People with severe anxiety, like Virgil, can not always handle prolonged social exposure.”  

“But we will not give up!” Roman declared, striking a valiant pose. “We will wait, until Virgil is ready to join us once more!” 

“Because that’s what good friends do.” Patton beamed, even as Jakob snarled in his face before turning on his heel and marching back into the crowd of students. 

“Well. That was… something.” Logan fixed his glasses.

“That guy seriously needs to chill.” Roman waved a hand flippantly. 

“Word.” Patton agreed, ignoring his friends pained expressions. Virgil was standing stock still, looking shocked. “Virgil? You okay, kiddo?” They all turned to the young Freshman, crowding in close. 

“That- I… I’m fine. You- you guys…” He blinked, tears suddenly threatening at the edge of his eyes. “Thank you. I mean…” He looked down, rubbing an arm across his cheeks. “I could’ve handled it but...but you guys did pretty good.” 

Patton grinned as his friends jostled each other, reassuring themselves with playful touches and searching expressions, celebrating their victory against a common foe. This is what it would be like. If he told them about Thomas. If he let them help him. Let them in. The bell rang and the doors swung open. 

“Well, I suppose we should be getting to class.” Logan began to gather his things and the others followed his example but Patton took a moment, breathing in one long deep breath. He could do this. It was time. 

“Hey guys?” They turned to look at him. He wasn’t backing out. “Why don’t we all hang at my place next week? I have some things to tell you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming close to the end now. 
> 
> As all ways thanks for reading, kudos and comments! I love it.


	7. Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton defends Virgil one more time.

They had questions, confusion evident, but he brushed them off as gently as he could and they dropped it, content, or at least willing to wait until he was ready to share. He expected to dread it. For it to sit like a lead weight in his chest, choking him up and pulling him down. But he felt surprisingly light. Like he had been cut free of something he hadn’t known was holding him back. His friends would finally know everything. About Uncle. About Thomas. They would either accept him as he was, or they wouldn't. There was nothing he could do about it. He couldn’t change his past. Couldn’t rewrite his life to make it more palatable, no matter how much the idea might appeal to him. The only thing he could do was trust his friends. And he did. With everything. 

The only person he could think of that he didn’t trust was Jakob Despereaux. He felt the boy’s eyes on him as the days passed. A hostile tingling on the back of his neck. 

 

Patton waved bashfully to Mrs. Jones as he left the empty classroom, hefting his backpack up on his shoulders. He’d been held after again, Mrs. Jones taking a moment to warn him about a test and talk about a low grade. Patton was doing his best, he just didn’t understand academic stuff the way the others did. Heck, without Logan’s careful tutoring he’d probably be looking at another year of high school and as much as he would like to spend another year with his friends he was looking forward to finally getting out in the world. Mrs. Shapirez couldn’t take care of him forever. 

He cut out a back door, humming happily and making his way around the back of the building. It had been a good day, his friends had all been feeling cheerful, his teachers had been approachable, not too hot or cold, and a tension missing from the air. Jakob’s eyes absent from his back. Patton couldn’t think what it was about the boy he didn’t like. He didn’t usually have a problem with anyone. Even Blake and his horde of bullies didn’t really garner any ill will from Patton. They were brutish and mean but Patton didn’t think they were bad people. They were probably as confused as anyone going to high school. In a few years they might be perfectly decent men and they’d all have a laugh about school and stolen lunch money. But Jakob. There was something about  _ him _ that just rubbed Patton the wrong way. Something in his eyes that made him think of being small and helpless and waking up in a puddle of grape juice. 

There was a sudden scuffling noise and Patton froze. He could hear voices coming from behind the gym. Half whispered words that felt angry and raw. Not really thinking about it and holding his bag tighter to him he went to investigate. Walking as softly as he could. What he saw made his heart stop. 

It was Virgil, his back to Patton and his hands up at his sides, fear in every line of his body. He couldn’t see what Virgil was facing but he recognized the voice. 

“- think you’re so special! So much better than me? Shut up! I  _ tried  _ to be your friend, I really did.” Jakob. “You think everyone should just feel sorry for you don’t you  _ Virgil? _ You think the world owes you something?  _ ‘Boohoo, I’m Virgil and I’m depressed’.  _ You’re disgusting is what you are!” 

“What’s going on here?” Still moving slowly and smiling as wide as he could, Patton allowed himself to come into view. Jakob’s eyes jumped to him, words coming to a halt and the gun in his hands shaking slightly as it changed targets. Virgil jumped, turning to stare at him with wide eyes. 

“Patton-”

“ _ You. _ ” Jakob took a half step forward. With his heart jumping in his throat Patton stepped to meet him, putting himself as far in front of Virgil as he could manage. He stretched out a hand. 

“I don’t think we were ever properly introduced. I’m Patton.” 

“Patton what the hell are you doing?” Virgil’s hand caught on his bag, voice desperate. He didn’t let his smile fall. Jakob’s expression was murderous. 

“ _ Get out of my way you imbecile. _ ” It was hissed out, dark eyes glittering as they stared at Patton like a target. 

“Well I can’t do that, we were just getting to know each other!” He kept his tone cheery, Virgil shoved at his back but he didn’t let himself move. 

“Move, or I will shoot you.” 

“Get out of here Patton! He means it!” He could feel Virgil shaking. He centered himself more squarely in front of his friend. 

“Well, I don’t know how you’re gonna do that, you don’t have a camera!” He laughed hard, not taking his eyes off of Jakob or the square edge of the gun. 

“Are you  _ seriously  _ that  _ stupid? _ ” The gun lowered slightly, still focused at Patton’s middle. 

“That’s what I’m told!” 

“Patton, seriously! Get out of here, he’s not like Blake, he’s not gonna change his mind just cause you  _ act stupid!”  _

Patton felt his smile grow more real, because Virgil thought it was an act. He didn’t think of Patton as an empty headed lunk on his sixth year of high school. And that’s why Patton would never move. 

“This is your last chance moron, move!” Jakob’s face was mottled and fierce, his eyes blazing with a rage as black as Uncle’s. Patton dug his feet in and grinned, the icy fear that had been tingling at the edge of his skin fading away. 

“Ya’ mean like this?” He started shaking his hips in slow circles, bobbing his head to invisible music. “I gotta admit I’m a little rusty.” Jakob’s face was apoplectic. Virgil was too close at his back. “And spin!” He did a sloppy pirouette, shoving Virgil as hard as he could as he turned to face him, watching him fall backwards in the split second before he was facing front again, a loud  _ bang  _ ringing in his ears. He jerked as something pinched into his stomach, white hot and painful. Everything froze. 

Jakob stared at him, face blank, the gun in his hand smoking faintly. They both looked at it, Patton’s head tipped in confusion. Because he felt fine. He felt- he felt dizzy. He staggered forward a step, his whole body suddenly throbbing. Jakob’s eyes slid down his torso for a moment before he turned and ran, as hard as he could. Patton blinked after him, a hand pressed to his aching stomach. 

“Well that ended with a  _ bang. _ ” He snorted a laugh and fire rippled up his chest, his shoulder  _ thunked  _ against the wall as he swayed. 

“Patton?” There was a scraping noise and than Virgil was there in front of him, eyes flicking over Patton’s face. “Pat? Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine kiddo.” He waved carelessly and a jolt of vertigo nearly sent him to his knees, Virgil’s arms coming up to hold him steady. “How about you? Are you hurt?” 

Virgil’s mouth hung open.

“Am I okay? Seriously? Patton, you’re the one who almost got shot-” He cut off abruptly as he slid his eyes down Patton’s torso. His whole face going white. 

“Well, yeah, but  _ you’re  _ the one who hit the ground, sorry about that, I was just trying to get you out of  _ arms  _ way, get it?” He smiled. “Because the gun is-” 

“Patton.” Virgil’s voice shook, his eyes fixed somewhere below Patton’s clavicle. “You’re bleeding.” 

“Wha-?” His head flopped down and he blinked at the gush of dark red dripping through his fingers. “Oh.” Now that he could see it, he could feel it too. More than just a slight ache, it was a pulsing, hot agony that took the feeling out of his legs and put the taste of bile in his mouth. He crumpled, Virgil unable to stop him as he hit the ground. “Oh, well that….” He blinked, taking in the wrecked expression on Virgil’s face. “That’s gonna put a  _ hole  _ in my day.” He chuckled weakly and Virgil’s head shook, tears coating his cheeks in moments. 

“Patton, don’t. Don’t do that.” A tiny sob tore at his throat and his fingers curled into one of the sleeves of Patton’s cardigan. “Don’t try and turn this into a joke, because it  _ isn’t. _ And I can’t… _.I can’t. _ ” 

Patton pulled him as close as he could, using the wall for support, his whole body going suddenly numb. He didn’t let himself think of why the feeling was familiar. 

“Hey, Virgil. It’ll be okay.” When had breathing gotten so hard? He swallowed around the copper taste in his mouth. 

“No, it won’t! I don’t- I don’t even have my phone!” He stared at Patton with wide, wet eyes. “How… how can… I can’t even call for help! Oh,  _ shit,  _ I need to get help!” He made to stand but Patton stopped him, fisting a hand in his torn jeans. All his thoughts were starting to go sideways and he couldn’t bear to be alone. He didn’t want to be alone when-

“Hey, stay, please.” He kept smiling, even as he pleaded with Virgil, glad the words were still clear. Virgil hesitated, looking around like someone was going to materialize in front of him and make everything better. 

“Help! Someone! Please!” 

“Verge.” Patton gave a weak tug and Virgil fell beside him, grabbing him as he slid down the wall and helping to settle him on the cold asphalt. Tears were dripping from his chin as he crawled up to kneel by Patton’s head, keeping a hand tucked under it like a cushion. His vision was starting to blur and he coughed, feeling the blood coat his teeth. 

“Patton, where’s your phone? Where is it?” Patton couldn’t do anything but shake his head slowly. Virgil’s body curled over him, sobs echoing in the quiet.“This is all my fault. Patton, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” 

Patton laughed, body clenching against the pain. 

“Virgil...buddy… this wasn’t yer’ fault.” He swallowed thickly, hearing his own throat tick. “I  _ wanted  _ to...do this...for you.” He took a breath.”You’re my friend Virgil...I wasn’t gonna let anything happen to you.” He fumbled a hand up to grip at Virgil’s hoodie, his eyes slipping shut.

“Pat? No, don’t do this to me Pat! Open your eyes! Patton!” 

His eyes jerked open, blinking at the fuzzy face hovering over him. 

“Thomas?” 

“What?” Virgil peered down at him, his eyebrows pulled together, his free hand cupping Patton’s cheek, sticky with blood. 

“Virgil…” He struggled to stay focused, to pull himself back from the edge. “Virgil I need...you...to...do something- for me.” 

“Anything. Anything you want Pat.” The hand at his cheek slid back to grip his hair, eyeliner running down Virgil’s face. “Anything.” 

Patton smiled. Each blink felt slow and lasted too long. 

“Tell...Tell Logan I love him.” He coughed again, swallowing against the liquid that tried to fill up his mouth and trying to lean forward and hold Virgil’s panicked attention. “Tell...Roman he’s...amazing...everyday.” 

“You’re gonna do it. You have to do it Pat.  _ Please _ ...don’t-”

“Virgil.” His fingers tightened desperately. “Remember...how much...I  _ care _ about...you.” 

“ _ Patton, please _ -” 

“Listen!... _ Never…  _ feel guilty.” He was running out of steam, his fingers shaking, his head aching to fall back to the earth. But he wasn’t done. Not yet. “And Virgil...if you ever...find my brother...tell him...I said...sorry.” His fingers slipped and he fell back, the pain putting a sour taste under his tongue. 

“Your brother? Patton, what are you talking about?” 

Grunting in discomfort, he moved his hands carefully up his sides, muscles jerking as he fumbled for edge of his cardigan. He felt Virgil’s hands move to help him, brushing his fingers aside. 

“Pocket.” He could barely manage to get the word out. Viril dipped into his pockets carefully, pulling loose a tiny square of folded paper with battered corners and age stains. Patton watched with heavy eyes as he unfolded it, stilling as the photograph came into view. Patton’s final piece of Thomas. Held close for so long. 

“Patton.” There was something in Virgil’s voice but Patton was too tired to try and figure out what it was. He pushed his palm forward, using the last of his strength to curl his fist around the picture as Virgil set it in his grasp. He sighed in relief at the photo’s familiar feeling against his skin. 

_ Thomas. _

It was his last thought before everything faded away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Patton's funeral, where maybe things are explained?
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me you guys!


	8. Remembered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil learns some things.

He woke slowly, blinking at the blurred colors that stretched out before him. What...had…? He tried to sit up, gasping at the sharp needles that erupted up his side. His head was full of twisting images of Uncle with a scar down half his face and a gun that sounded like trumpets, and-

“Patton!” There’s the screech of chair legs and the large black blob that had been resting at the end of his bed floats closer. He’s wrapped in someone’s arms, pain making his vision swim and Virgil’s musky, dark room, smell filling his nose. He remembers it all now. “ _ I thought you died. _ ” There’s a sob at the back of Virgil’s words and Patton squeezes him tighter, ignoring the pain. His laugh is only a little forced. 

“So did I!” His throat is scratchy and dry, but he keeps going. “A gunshot’ll do that I guess.” 

“ _ No. _ ” He presses his face into Patton’s neck, hot tears smearing into his skin. “I thought Uncle  _ killed you.”  _

Patton’s got his mouth open, ready to say something, ready to make it flippant and amusing. Just a silly little hospital visit. But he freezes. Virgil’s words tapping against the back of his head and rolling around in his brain like marbles. 

“Huh?” It’s barely a noise and it hurts more than any of the words he’s spoken since he woke up. 

“They wouldn’t let me see you! I ran- I ran to get help, I just left you there! They wouldn’t let me go back. I saw...I  saw the ambulance…” He sobs hard. “I saw  _ you _ , lying on that stretcher...Nobody would tell me anything! Nobody would let me see you! I asked!” He pulls back but Patton can’t see his face. “I asked Pat, I swear! They just kept saying you’d be back! That when the doctors fixed you that.... But you didn't! I waited. I waited and you never came.” Patton wishes he could see, he reaches out a hand and Virgil grips it hard. “You never came back and I thought-” He breaks off, sniffling and Patton can’t  _ see. _ He fumbles around with the hand not attached to Virgil- to Thomas?- trying to find his glasses. Virgil makes a noise and disappears, Patton stretching after him in confusion, not sure what name to call. 

Patton’s glasses settle on his nose and his  _ brother’s face  _ comes into view. Because it is Thomas. It’s Thomas, and how? How had he not seen it before? Not recognized their shared nose? That quirked lip?  _ Those eyes?  _ How had he not known his brother?

“Thomas…” He struggles upright, struggles to  _ breathe.  _ And Thomas-Virgil?- blushes, still crowded close to the bed. “I- I don’t-” He laughs, feeling the tears leaking from his eyes. “I don’t know what to say. Hi.” 

Virgil rolls his eyes, but his face is soft and fond and  _ Thomas. _

“Hey.” 

“You’re- it’s you!” Patton can’t stop laughing, can’t stop crying. “You’re here.” 

“Yeah.” Their fingers clutch tight together. Virgil shakes his head. “I can’t believe you were alive.” He does his own dry laugh. He looks sad, and Patton’s happiness deflates. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“What?” 

“I’m sorry.”

“Pat, what the hell? What are you apologizing for? You didn’t do anything!” 

“Exactly!” He gestures widely, wincing when it pulls at hidden stitches. “I didn’t do anything… I didn’t protect you and I should have. It was my fault we got separated, if I had been stronger… stood up to Uncle more-” 

“Patton, what the hell are you talking about?” Virgil is frowning at him and Patton can’t unsee his brother’s face. But it’s been so long, and so much has changed, are they even really brothers anymore? He hopes so. “You did everything you could for me Patton. You think I don’t know what you did? I saw the bruises. I...I heard the…” He mimed a punch. “Gawd, Pat, You were twelve years old! You shouldn’t have had to go through that! But you did...for me.” He bowed his head. “I really wish I could’a done for something you sometimes Patton.” 

“You did.” Their eyes met and Patton wished he wasn’t in a stupid bed. Wished he wasn’t in a stupid hospital bed so he could hug Vir- Tho-  _ his brother  _ close and help him feel better. “You got out. Got away from Uncle I mean. Not- I didn’t want you to leave!” 

“Pat, relax, I got it.” 

“Good,” They shared a smile. “That’s all I ever wanted you to do Vir- uh, Thom- what uh… what should I call you?” 

Virgil smiled.

“Whatever. They both work, I’m still a Thomas.” 

“Right! Right, because your  _ name  _ is- is that why they changed it? Your...your parents?” It felt weird to say. To think that his brother had parents besides the ones they’d buried years ago. That he’d found a family outside of Patton. 

“I guess. A name like Thomas Thomas isn’t gonna make you very popular with anyone besides bullies.” 

“Yeah…” Patton agreed just watching Virgil. Because he was  _ Virgil.  _ And he was Thomas. But Thomas had been Patton’s little brother. Someone he had to watch over and protect. Someone he’d spent every waking moment with. Someone he’d centered his life around.  And while Virgil was like Thomas, they didn’t feel like the same person. Everything had changed. Thomas wasn’t gone. Not like he had been, not anymore. He was a part of Virgil, a piece of him. And Virgil was family. He was Patton’s brother. And nothing as simple as a name would change that. 

“The other have been really worried about you.” Virgil continued when the silence had stretched. “But they won’t let anyone but family in, so.” He gestured at himself. “There was also a lady named Mrs. Shapirez or something here earlier but she went to go like… pray and stuff.” He glanced over his shoulder. “I should probably go tell one of the nurses you’re awake…” 

“No!” They both jumped. “Just- uh, just stay for a little longer? Please?” 

“Are you sure? She could probably give you more drugs or something if you’re hurting…”    
“I’m fine! Besides, my teachers always told me to say ‘no’ to drugs.” He swung an arm and winced. 

“Yeah, this isn’t really what they had in mind.” Patton almost shrugged but thought better of it. “I’ll be right back, okay Pat?” He stood up and Patton snorted. 

“Rhyming.” He saw Virgil roll his eyes as he walked away. 

 

The nurse came and fussed at him for awhile and gave him something that made everything warm and heavy and keeping his eyes open hard. Virgil sat beside him stroking his hair and telling him it was okay to sleep, but Patton didn’t want to miss a moment. Eventually his eyes got to heavy to resist and he dozed, making sure that Virgil’s face was the last thing he saw. 

 

When he woke up again it was to hushed whispering. 

“Who hangs out with someone for like  _ four months  _ without realizing that they’re related?” Roman. Patton could feel himself starting to smile. 

“I thought he was  _ dead _ , give me a break.” Virgil, still there watching over him. He was definitely smiling now.

“Keep in mind that our bodies change drastically during adolescence and the brain tends to block traumatic experiences and I doubt that even had he known of Patton’s continued existence he would have been able to pick him from a crowd.” Logan. Patton had left smiling and was grinning into his pillow. 

“Yeah, and that.” 

“I still think it’s rather  _ convenient. _ ” 

“Dude, there’s nothing convenient about a six year old mourning their dead brother.” 

“Well, see at six he would barely have any concrete memories to draw from, Patton would have been little more than a vague face.” 

“Ouch, what a  _ vangueishing  _ thought- bad…thatwasbad.” He blinked his eyes open, reaching for his glasses. 

“ _ Patton! _ ” Three bodies crowded round him, hands reaching out to touch. Roman and Logan’s voices mushing together. “We were so worried!” 

“How are you feeling?” 

“What do you remember? Was it epic?” 

“Epic? What is ‘epic’ about any of this?” 

“You know like in the movies with the rain and slo-mo!” 

“Patton’s been  _ shot,  _ not cast in a Clint Eastwood film.” 

“What would  _ you  _ know about Clint Eastwood films? Do you even watch television?” 

“I’ve seen  _ enough- _ ” 

“Guys! Relax!” Virgil silenced the pair pushing forward and scooting them back from the bed. “The nurse is gonna kick us out. Here Pat.” He moved to help him sit up and drink some water. 

“Yeah, Logan! Geez, loud much?” Roman refixed his attention on Patton before Logan could do more than scoff. “But seriously how are you Patton?” 

“I’m fine guys, honest. I barely remember it.” Only partially true. He would never forget the look on Jakob’s face. He smiled big anyway. 

“It may please you to know that the police have apprehended the shooter.” 

“Oh, really?” He fidgeted with his blanket. Logan’s stiff shoulders drooped.

“You do not appear pleased.” He seemed hurt.

“No, I am! Of course I am!” He reached out and squeezed Logan’s hand. Both of them blushing and steadfastly ignoring it. “I just...I don’t know that  _ jail  _ is going to be able to help Jakob.” 

“Who cares?” Roman flipped a hand. “That squinty eyed little snake got what’s coming to him if you ask me.” 

“I agree.” They all blinked at Logan and Roman siding together. 

“Yeah Pat, Jakob was a creep, don’t even worry about him.” 

“But Virgil, he was your friend…” Patton watched his brother smile at him, heart jumping as he realized Uncle wasn’t there to ruin it anymore. To stop it. Virgil could smile forever. 

“He wasn’t my friend Pat, he was just using me. I have real friends now.” He glanced shyly at Roman and Logan. “I have  _ family _ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bazinga! 
> 
> Did I fool anyone? Sorry for the emotional grief, lol. I couldn't help myself. 
> 
> (Also, just realized I never explained but- the teacher Patton was meeting with heard the gunshot and called 911, and that is why Patton is not dead, you're welcome.)
> 
> Only one chapter left!


	9. Feels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue sort of a thing...

Patton was drawing a few days later and Logan was watching him. Roman had taken Virgil home for food and a shower and it was just the two of them. Logan fidgeted in his chair and though his book was open on his lap he hadn’t looked at it more than twice. Their eyes caught when Patton looked up and Logan looked away quickly. Patton set down his pen. 

“Everything okay, Logan?” 

“Of course it is Patton. Why wouldn’t it be?” The words were fast even for Logan and Patton frowned. Logan’s foot tapped against the floor. Patton craned his head to watch it and it stopped. Logan stared at him. Patton stared back. “Are you-”

“Were you ever going to tell me?” 

Both their mouths snapped shut. Patton blinked.

“Was I ever going to tell you what?” 

Logan clenched his jaw and stared at the ceiling. Obviously uncomfortable. 

“I shouldn’t have said anything. I just- I believed we were friends.” 

Patton jerked, his hands clenching in the blankets. 

“We  _ are  _ friends.” 

“Are we? It was my understanding that friends shared things.” His book snapped shut and he clenched his hands on top of it. “Yet I was unaware that you had a brother, or that you lived in a foster situation for much of your life.” 

Patton’s head drooped and he tried not to cry. This is exactly what he’d been afraid of. 

“Logan-” 

“Why did you not tell me? Did you not trust me?” 

“No, of course I trust you! You’re my best friend Logan.” 

Logan refused to look at him. 

“I don’t feel like your best friend.” 

Patton swallowed a sob, squeezing his eyes shut against the burning tears. 

“ _ I’m sorry. _ ” He sniffed as quietly as he could. “I’m so sorry Logan. I wanted to tell you!” He looked up and Logan was staring at him with a stricken expression. “I was going to tell you. I just… I didn’t know how and I didn’t want-” 

“Didn’t want...what? Patton?” 

Patton breathed in a few small lungfuls of air, trying to stop the tears wetting his cheeks. There was a squeak and than Logan was beside him with a napkin, wiping away the water. 

“I’m sorry to have upset you.” 

Patton couldn’t help choking on a laugh. 

“You’re so amazing Logan. You’re smart and sweet and just… amazing.” He caught Logan’s wrist as he tried to pull away, their eyes locked together. Logan embarrassed, Patton determined. “You’ve always been so much better than me. So much more together. So much smarter.” 

“Patton-”

“I wouldn’t be half the person I am without you. And I know… I know you think I’m stupid and you’re not wrong. I’m not that smart.”

“Patton-” 

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m kind of a moron. And I guess I thought.. If I told you about Thomas… and Uncle….that you’d think even less of me than you already do…” 

Logan’s face was almost completely closed off when he finished and he felt his heart go cold. 

“May I speak now?” 

“If you want.” 

“Thank you.” Logan’s large hands came up to cup his cheeks, making sure their eyes held as he spoke. “Patton,  _ none  _ of that is true. You are not less than me and I have never thought less of you. The circumstances of your past do not change who you are as a person and I have never thought more highly of any person than I do of you.” His face seemed to get closer as he spoke. “You are funny and kind, and though it’s true you do not excel academically, you are by no means stupid! Patton you were my friend when no one else wanted to be. You have never made me feel poorly about who I am as a person and you have helped me to grow so much.” Their foreheads touched and they just breathed for a moment. Patton was still crying and he thinks maybe Logan is too. “I care for you more deeply than I have ever cared for anyone...Patton I-... _ I love you. _ ” He seemed surprised by it and Patton certainly was. Patton told everyone he loved them, but for Logan to say it… Patton’s stomach was roiling with butterflies, he knew Logan meant it, and he wanted it to mean so much more. “May I kiss you Patton?” His head jerked back, eyes round with shock. “If- if you would prefer I didn’t-” 

Patton cut him off by pulling him close and mashing their lips together. Logan squeaked and their teeth clicked and it made Patton’s abdomen ache to lean forward so far but then… then Logan’s mouth was relaxing against his, one of his hands twisting into the hair at the nape of his neck. They pulled back slowly both of them dazed and licking at their lips. Content to stare at each other, Logan blinking and Patton beaming. The door clattered shut and they jumped, Roman and Virgil staring at them from the doorway, holding coffees. For a moment no one spoke, then…

“Finally!” Roman’s hands flew in the air, spraying hot coffee down his arm. “Ouch, hot!” 

Patton grinned.

“Yeah we are!” He laughed as his friends groaned and rolled their eyes and Logan smirked and twined their fingers together, happier than he’d been in a long,  _ long, _ time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! You're the best!
> 
> That is it for this story, I hope everything got explained? If you maybe want to see more in the 'verse I wouldn't mind taking on a couple prompts? Or whatever. 
> 
> And as all ways thanks for the comments and kudos! I love them!
> 
> Take it easy guys, gals and non-binary pals! ;) PEACE OUT


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